I had the weekend to think things through. About what exactly I'm upset about and what I can do about it.
I'm bumped cause I keep being judged and blamed. It's ok to judge me but I'd rather it be done behind my back rather than at my face.
Then I had a talk with Kit and what she said was right. I don't have to prove anything to anyone. So why am I trying so hard to?
I miss you..But I like it better when you where happy rather than depressed.
Anyway, I've decided not to be sad. Not to be depressed. For what? Over other people? No. I'm going to be happy. To be joyful. A pastor once said, "Be happy. Don't be depressing. Christians are happy people."
So I'm going to be happy. Not sad. Not depressed. Especially not because of other people. I know myself. I know my mom brought me up good. I know what I'm good at I don't have to prove it to anyone.
=) I do feel much better. Because for once I'm learning not to take people's crap and get depressed because of it. =) Not easy to do. But at least I'm learning =)
Cheers!
Sunday, 29 June 2008
Thursday, 26 June 2008
Ramblings
I feel like rambling. But nothing seems to be coming out. At least not in words.
To say today is better? Maybe. But not really.
I keep hearing this today -- God has a purpose. Whatever happens God has a purpose. So what is the purpose for this?
I feel so stressed!!!!!! And I don't even have any exams.
I tried not to be depressed. I really do. I really don't want to be so sad. But I can't help it!
As Kit would say, I mix all my problems into one big problem and start rambling about it.
But...what's the problem?
To say today is better? Maybe. But not really.
I keep hearing this today -- God has a purpose. Whatever happens God has a purpose. So what is the purpose for this?
I feel so stressed!!!!!! And I don't even have any exams.
I tried not to be depressed. I really do. I really don't want to be so sad. But I can't help it!
As Kit would say, I mix all my problems into one big problem and start rambling about it.
But...what's the problem?
Wednesday, 25 June 2008
Depressed
I give up...I seriously give up.
On life...on everything...
Life doesn't seem to have a meaning now.
When I think of the future I feel so...scared. So depressed. I feel like giving up. Not just the "when I'm in university" kind of future. Even tomorrow. Next week. The week after. I feel...like I don't want to go through it.
In one of the lowest point of my life now. Feeling depressed. Feeling useless. Unprepared for the consequences about to hit me right in the face. Feeling judged...wrongly.
Sooooo depressed =(
On life...on everything...
Life doesn't seem to have a meaning now.
When I think of the future I feel so...scared. So depressed. I feel like giving up. Not just the "when I'm in university" kind of future. Even tomorrow. Next week. The week after. I feel...like I don't want to go through it.
In one of the lowest point of my life now. Feeling depressed. Feeling useless. Unprepared for the consequences about to hit me right in the face. Feeling judged...wrongly.
Sooooo depressed =(
Wednesday, 18 June 2008
Chateau Des Lumiere
That's the theme for my college prom on friday. Don't ask me what it means, I don't know french. LOL. Anyway, I didn't bring my camera along for prom because my camera wasn't working so I just got the pictures from Han Yang and Yao Siang. Thanks you guys!
Good news and bad news. Good news: it was pretty fun. Ate my money's worth like Kit Yan said. And had fun taking pictures and seeing people dressed up and there were some pretty cool performances especially the ones by the lecturers.
Bad news: I look horrible in the prom pics. Not all but most of them. My arm looks gigantic! Gosh. This really calls for a diet! And exercise. :(
Not going to write much, just going to let the pictures speak for themselves :) Enjoy!
A band. Played a few songs.
FOOD!!
Prom King and Queen having a go at the dance floor
Talk to the hand! LOL.
Shy? ;)
Wei Tse and me
Su Lyn, Wei Tse and me
Wei, me, Su Lyn, Fifi! Hehe*she hates that I call her fifi*
The girls with Ms Ching, the maths teacher
The girls (7 girls in a classroom of 20+)
The guys (not all are here)
This..I have to say, is pretty awesome! The lecturers dancing!
The class (not all here though)
The class with Ms Tang, our further maths 2 teacher.
Weeeeee......
Us with further maths 1 teacher, Mr Peter. One of a kind.
Kok Foong, Su Lyn, Wei Tse, me
Meng Kit, Azrul, Wei, me
Han Yang with us.
Tian Yi and Afiqah. The class is always teasing them. They do look cute together, don't they ;)
Roses.
Well, that's all the pictures I am posting. It's almost 3am now. Takes a long time to upload all these pictures. *Yawn*, before I sleep just want to say a few words about my class.
It has been great to have these guys and girls as my classmates for a year and a half. The laughter we shared, the lame jokes we shared (or more like I shared ;))....truly memorable. Thank you, guys and gals, for helping me with work, especially those who explained again and again the things I didn't understand (you know who you are). Thanks for the lunches we had together for 1 and a half years. I will always cherish the times we went to As You Like It just to eat the tom yam there. I'll really miss that tom yam. LOL. You guys and gals are just so great! And I wish you all the best in your life and in your future! Love ya loads!!
Signing out.
Good news and bad news. Good news: it was pretty fun. Ate my money's worth like Kit Yan said. And had fun taking pictures and seeing people dressed up and there were some pretty cool performances especially the ones by the lecturers.
Bad news: I look horrible in the prom pics. Not all but most of them. My arm looks gigantic! Gosh. This really calls for a diet! And exercise. :(
Not going to write much, just going to let the pictures speak for themselves :) Enjoy!
A band. Played a few songs.
FOOD!!
Prom King and Queen having a go at the dance floor
Talk to the hand! LOL.
Shy? ;)
Wei Tse and me
Su Lyn, Wei Tse and me
Wei, me, Su Lyn, Fifi! Hehe*she hates that I call her fifi*
The girls with Ms Ching, the maths teacher
The girls (7 girls in a classroom of 20+)
The guys (not all are here)
This..I have to say, is pretty awesome! The lecturers dancing!
The class (not all here though)
The class with Ms Tang, our further maths 2 teacher.
Weeeeee......
Us with further maths 1 teacher, Mr Peter. One of a kind.
Kok Foong, Su Lyn, Wei Tse, me
Meng Kit, Azrul, Wei, me
Han Yang with us.
Tian Yi and Afiqah. The class is always teasing them. They do look cute together, don't they ;)
Roses.Well, that's all the pictures I am posting. It's almost 3am now. Takes a long time to upload all these pictures. *Yawn*, before I sleep just want to say a few words about my class.
It has been great to have these guys and girls as my classmates for a year and a half. The laughter we shared, the lame jokes we shared (or more like I shared ;))....truly memorable. Thank you, guys and gals, for helping me with work, especially those who explained again and again the things I didn't understand (you know who you are). Thanks for the lunches we had together for 1 and a half years. I will always cherish the times we went to As You Like It just to eat the tom yam there. I'll really miss that tom yam. LOL. You guys and gals are just so great! And I wish you all the best in your life and in your future! Love ya loads!!
Signing out.
Friday, 13 June 2008
PROM!
So much for watching movie the other night. It was too late. Oh well, the incredible hulk is out!!!And Edward Norton is acting in it!!! Ahhh, exciting! He's such a great actor. And he's so cute! >.<
Tonight's my college prom. And it's friday the 13th today! ....Spooky? Maybe we'll have the malaysian version of Prom Night. LOL. Nah, I don't believe in friday the 13th. Doesn't spook me out. Feeling a little excited and a little scared for tonight though. I've put on so much weight during the exams I feel fat when I'm wearing the dress. :( And I hope and pray that no one will ask me to dance....because I can't!!! LOL. I'm serious, if someone asks me to dance I'll freak and run to the toilet! LOL.
One thing's for sure, I'll definately take Kit Yan's advice : "Eat your money's worth." Haha. So true!
I'll be uploading pictures. Till then, bye!
Tonight's my college prom. And it's friday the 13th today! ....Spooky? Maybe we'll have the malaysian version of Prom Night. LOL. Nah, I don't believe in friday the 13th. Doesn't spook me out. Feeling a little excited and a little scared for tonight though. I've put on so much weight during the exams I feel fat when I'm wearing the dress. :( And I hope and pray that no one will ask me to dance....because I can't!!! LOL. I'm serious, if someone asks me to dance I'll freak and run to the toilet! LOL.
One thing's for sure, I'll definately take Kit Yan's advice : "Eat your money's worth." Haha. So true!
I'll be uploading pictures. Till then, bye!
Tuesday, 10 June 2008
It's over!
HEY PEEPS!!!!!!!!! WOHOOO. Gosh! I haven't written anything in this blog for so long even Nick Chew is thinking this blog of mine is fake!! LOL. (*Fake IS the opposite of not real right? ;) *)
Hahaha.. Wow, it is great to start blogging again. Really sorry for abandoning this. I've been busy preparing for exams. And yup! It is over! Exam's over! And that's not all....A levels is over too!! I've officially finished my 1 and 1/2 year of A levels course. Awesome? Awesome! Haha.
I must say, this year has been a hectic year. And it's not even over yet! Since the beginning of this year I've been busting my ass studying and preparing for the A2 exams. And I have one advice to give ya'll. DON'T STUDY LAST MINUTE!!!! Lol. Seriously I've learnt a great lesson. Since my further maths exam is only during A2, I pushed it aside during AS. The consequences? I have to study further maths for 1/2 a year. LOL. Seriously! I didn't touch further maths. And this year when I read the book I felt so lost! But thank God, I've got tuition, which really helped alot.
It hasn't been an easy year but thank God because He guided me through every single step. Even when I've disappointed Him so many times, He never gave up on me. I seriously could not have gone through life without Him. I've known people who condemn God, and saying how ridiculous it is, to believe in Him. But honestly, can you imagine a life without God? Honestly, I can't. Everytime my faith fails, and I push myself away from God, I can't help but to get back to Him. And I once heard someone said that we believe in God because we are all insecure. Which is so true! Can you say that you've been through life without once being insecure? Haven't you thought, what will happen if this or that? What will happen to me if this does not work out? I am not ashamed to say, that I have had these thoughts in my mind. And I am grateful to say that I have God to cling on to. =)
Well, I've got to go now. Going to catch a movie! Maybe Indiana Jones or Prom Night. Ooo I saw the trailer for prom night it looks pretty cool! Haha. Spooky but cool! Haha alright I'll be back! BYE!
Hahaha.. Wow, it is great to start blogging again. Really sorry for abandoning this. I've been busy preparing for exams. And yup! It is over! Exam's over! And that's not all....A levels is over too!! I've officially finished my 1 and 1/2 year of A levels course. Awesome? Awesome! Haha.
I must say, this year has been a hectic year. And it's not even over yet! Since the beginning of this year I've been busting my ass studying and preparing for the A2 exams. And I have one advice to give ya'll. DON'T STUDY LAST MINUTE!!!! Lol. Seriously I've learnt a great lesson. Since my further maths exam is only during A2, I pushed it aside during AS. The consequences? I have to study further maths for 1/2 a year. LOL. Seriously! I didn't touch further maths. And this year when I read the book I felt so lost! But thank God, I've got tuition, which really helped alot.
It hasn't been an easy year but thank God because He guided me through every single step. Even when I've disappointed Him so many times, He never gave up on me. I seriously could not have gone through life without Him. I've known people who condemn God, and saying how ridiculous it is, to believe in Him. But honestly, can you imagine a life without God? Honestly, I can't. Everytime my faith fails, and I push myself away from God, I can't help but to get back to Him. And I once heard someone said that we believe in God because we are all insecure. Which is so true! Can you say that you've been through life without once being insecure? Haven't you thought, what will happen if this or that? What will happen to me if this does not work out? I am not ashamed to say, that I have had these thoughts in my mind. And I am grateful to say that I have God to cling on to. =)
Well, I've got to go now. Going to catch a movie! Maybe Indiana Jones or Prom Night. Ooo I saw the trailer for prom night it looks pretty cool! Haha. Spooky but cool! Haha alright I'll be back! BYE!
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