I also joined the workshop “The Heart of Worship” by Pastor Ng Wah Lok and “What do you do when no one is watching” by Pastor Edmund Smith. The heart of worship workshop was really interesting. Pastor Ng Wah Lok taught about how to plan songs for worship. Pastor Edmund Smith’s topic was a little bit shocking at 1st. It was Homosexuality and the Ex-Gay Lifestyle. I really didn’t expect it. And actually I didn’t choose it. I chose The heart of worship. But Pastor Ng can only come on the 1st day, and Pastor Edmund can only come on the 2nd and 3rd day, so both workshops were joined. And I’ve learnt a lot from Pastor Edmund Smith about gays and he has really changed my perspective of gays.
If you've read my post entitled "What would YOU do?", I had this thinking that gays are born like that. I had this perspective that gays cannot be changed. But through the workshop, I've learnt that there are people who were gay and now they're not. For example, Pastor Edmund Smith himself was gay. He had 3 elder brothers. So when his mother was pregnant with him, his parents expected him to be a girl. But when he was born a boy, his parents rejected him, especially his father. He told us that his mother rejected him at 1st but then later accepted him. But for the 1st 5 years of his life, his mother treated him like a girl and later treated him like a boy. So he was very confused about his gender. He told us he hated being a guy. He wanted so badly to be a girl. And he lead a gay lifestyle for almost 11 years. He later stopped being gay because he said he suffered and was depressed during the 11 years he was leading the gay lifestyle. But of course he said it was not easy to change from being gay to straight. But he said soon after he left the gay lifestyle, he found Jesus. And his life changed from there. And oh yea, he's married by the way. Blessed with 2 kids. =)
He taught us a lot of terms and also shared with us the issues that could lead to a person being gay. First he taught us about 2 stances : the pro-gay and ex-gay stance.
- Ex-gay stance = promotes ex-gay lifestyle and discourages gay lifestyle
- Pro-gay stance = promotes and encourages gay lifestyle
- gay = (for male and female) others drawn to a person of the same sex in a way of romance and sex
- lesbian = specifically for female homosexuals
- Gay friendly = to be friendly to gays, but hold the ex-gay stance. Aka do not hurt or reject gays, but be friendly to them and at the same time do not encourage their gay lifestyle/do not encourage them being gay.
- anti gay/homophobic = afraid of gays/hate gays. opposite of gay friendly
- hermaphrodite = one who is born with both genitals.(not necessarily gay)(due to genetics)
- Transgender= transfer of gender. one who has a Gender Identity Disorder. a female who wants to be a male and vice versa.
- Transsexual = transgender who go for sex change operation
- Transvestite = transfer of vest (clothes). a male who dresses like a female (or vice versa) mostly for fun/ performance.
- Androgynous = one who appears in the middle. Eg, a person looks a little like a man but at a certain angle looks like a woman.(not due to genetics)
- homophyllic = one who loves others of the same sex but has nothing to do with sex or romance.
- Deep Platonic Relationship = relationship whereby a person loves another of the same sex deeply without involving sex or romance.
- pedophile = adult who is drawn to children in a way of sex/romance.
- metro sexual = a man who is in touch with his feminine side.(eg man who cook, do facial, do sewing, cry, etc) it is usually a term for men and it is perfectly normal.
- fetrosexual = same as metro sexual but this term is used for girls (eg, girls who are strong, who love to play football/rugby etc etc
- butch = a girl who wants to be a guy. they will bind their breasts, cut their hair short, act like a guy etc
- SELF ISSUE
And also Pastor Edmund said, don't complain you're ugly, but rather remember that you are beautiful in God's eyes, and that's all that matters. God made all of us beautiful, so don't ever say or complain that you're ugly. He also said don't complain about being fat. But instead, exercise, eat well and rest well. (A big bang to my head for that. LOL)
- VACUUM ISSUE
Pastor Edmund said that many people always look for Mr/ Miss Right. And he was stressing that there is no such thing as Mr/ Miss Right, because no one is perfect. And he also said that no one completes us. He said for example, his wife does not complete him, but compliments him.
During one of the night sessions (not connected to this workshop), Pastor Eric Lau came to speak and he quote a saying from Pascal : "In the hearts of every men and women there is a God shaped vacuum that can only be filled by God the creator through Jesus Christ". This is so true.
- BARRIER ISSUE
*phew* So yea, he was telling us that gays are not born. God doesn't make gays. A person becomes gay mostly because he/she has not resolve either one, two, or all of these 3 issues. A person can also become gay because of influence from the world. He also taught about Deep Platonic Relationship. It is normal and possible, to love a person of the same sex deeply without involving romance/sexuality. So yea, don't get confused between admiration/ deep platonic relationship and love for the same sex in terms of romance.
He also taught us to be gay friendly but to stay strong to the ex-gay stance. We can be friendly to gays but it doesn't mean that we encourage that person being a gay/ leading a gay lifestyle. He also taught us not to reject gays or to mock gays.
Anyway, to learn more about Pastor Edmund's work (it's called the Real Love Ministry) , check out his website www.r-l-m.com
You can also check out this website www.exodus.to
I really found this workshop and the things Pastor Edmund taught very useful. I think now that gays and their lifestyle are beginning to be such a norm, these notes are very useful as awareness to the public. And also hope that a gay can be changed. Though it is not easy and it also depends on whether that person is willing or not. But yea, it is an interesting topic, and an important one too.
Hope you'll find this post useful. Do comment and give your opinions.