Friendships

How are your friendships? Do you give, but expect something in return? Do you praise the person in front of him/her, but say the opposite about them behind their back? Do you judge them based on first impressions? When you barely know them?

Philippians 2: 20 - 21 speaks of Timothy - "I have no-one else like him, who takes a genuine interest in your welfare. For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ."

How often do we have genuine care for other people? How often do we look after other people's interest? I've always hated it when I care for someone, and they take it for granted. Or take advantage of it. And I would feel like a doormat. A friend used to tell me her problem: she cares too much.

Care too much? Can we ever care too much for a person? Isn't that what we should do? Why? Because He cared for us. But is that it? We do it because the bible says so? Because God did it for us? Is that the only reason?

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I remember once I went for a holiday and we rented a villa. Bought some food to cook. And we had another batch of friends coming later during the night. When they came, they haven't had dinner, and since it was late, all the restaurants would've been closed. Plus they would've been tired from travelling.

So a couple of my friends and I decided, we should cook for them. And another friend was a little indignant, asking, why should we cook for them? We're not their servants. We bought the food. It's their problem for not preparing themselves with food.

Something in me stirred and I said, "If you do good to other people, they will do good to you."

The next night, we went to the supermarket and bought food for bbq, and that batch of friends insisted to pay for the food. Because of what we did for them before. Because we provided for them.

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But then again. Do we do good.. just because we expect something in return?

Luke 6:31 - 35 : "Do to others as you would have them do to you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners', expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked."

So give. Without expecting in return. The world says "we give and take". Bible says "just give". Easier said than done? Definitely. But does that mean you don't need to do it? That we shouldn't do it? In my previous post a couple of years ago I remember mentioning, I hate it when people say it's easier said than done. Of course, but everything's easier said than done. We have to work hard to put food on the table, study hard to get somewhere. So does that mean we don't have to do it? Cause it's easier said than done?

And are you loyal in your friendships? Nicky Gumbel said, if you're in a room of people, and you start speaking ill of another person, the people in the room might think, "if you're saying these things about that person, what are you saying about me?" How do you build trust in friendships that way? I always fall into that trap. Gossiping. It seems fun. Especially if the person you're telling it to agrees with you. But really, does the person you're gossiping about deserve that? Think "what if I were in his/her shoes."