Turning...OLD

So today, 18th July, I'm 20 years old. Can you believe it? 20! And if you don't think it's old, think again.

I was chatting with my cousin on msn and he asked how I was doing. And I said, "I'm alright. Feeling cranky. But I guess that's what it means to get old huh?" Then he replied, "Getting old? Oh yes! Happy birthday!" And when I said that whole feeling-cranky-is-what-it-means-to-get-old, I wasn't even thinking of my birthday. Wasn't even thinking the reason I feel cranky/old was because I'm getting a year older. It all came too...naturally. Naturally OLD. Gosh, I don't know why, but just after dinner I suddenly felt so cranky. Just didn't feel like talking. Didn't even feel like watching a favourite programme on TV. Turning old?? I hope not. I don't want to be a cranky, miserable old lady. I want to be a jolly, enthusiastic, passionate woman.

Looking back at my life, I have to say, I feel pretty grateful for it. I mean of course, there's been ups and downs. Sadness and happiness. Mishaps. Suffering (not a lot and not physically. Don't get me wrong lol). Embarrassments ;). Joy. Love. Hope. Fun. And most importantly, God has been so great in my life. From the way He brought me to Him, to the awesome ways He has worked in my life, to the guidance He has given me, to the prayers He has answered for me. It's been awesome. Even though I keep disappointing Him, He never forsake me. Even though I left Him sometimes, He never left me.

Dear Lord,

I'm sorry for the many things I've done that've disappointed and upset You. Father, even as I grow a year older, all I want is to grow stronger in our relationship. To grow stronger in love. To learn more from You and to obey You in everything I do. Father, all I want is to draw closer to You, and not forsaking You again, ever. Thank You Lord for the many amazing things You have done in my life. Though I don't deserve it, but still You made the impossible happen. For me. Thank You Lord. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.