The beginning of a journey

I've seriously lost the mood to blog. Everytime I feel like sharing something, I come online but I feel so lazy to blog. LOL. I still haven't even taken the photos of my birthday party from my dad's laptop. But anyway, I had my birthday dinner in Xenri restaurant. Had great food :D. The end. Lol.

About another 4 weeks till I leave Malaysia. I'm so scared. I haven't been sleeping well the past 2 nights. Don't know if it's because I'm scared about going to London or something else. Started packing already. Hopefully my luggages won't be over weight. I hope they'll upgrade me to business class :D:D. Not only because of comfort, but also because business class allows 2 hand luggages. My mom wants me to bring my violin along, which is considered a hand luggage. I haven't been playing with my violin for a very very long time. I hope the strings are still fine. *Oops*.

I was reading the LSE Student Union guide last night. It made my excited. And scared! It's exciting to join the many different activities LSE's going to have. There's this event that really caught my eyes. It's called Reclaim The Night march, a women-only march against rape and male violence. I really want to go. It's going to be an eye-opening event. My mom was a little worried though when she heard about this march. But the book assures that it'll be a safe event.

There're also information about transport, night clubs, food, markets, etc. It's going to be a totally different environment for me. There'll be lots of debates and talks bout current issues, environmental issues, and issues like equality between men and women, etc. I just hope I won't be too timid to discuss about them. I hope I'm brave enough to speak my mind, no matter how dumb I might sound, no matter how shallow I might sound. I just hope and pray for the courage to speak. And hopefully learn lots from other people.

I've been really lazy this past couple of days. Don't know why. I need to start being alert, start reading all about economics. I can't be lazy anymore! I can't! *Slaps self*

It's the end of a journey, and yet a beginning to another journey. The path looks scary and uncertain, but I know for sure I won't be taking it alone.

I want to stop disappointing You. But everytime I try to pick myself up, I fall again. I need Your strength to pick me up and keep me from falling. I need Your strength to keep me from disappointing You. I want to start anew with You...I want to come back to You...

Can't be lazy! Can't keep disappointing Him! I need strength! I need the passion to work and not just speak!

LSE, you can't scare me! Lol. Being weird huh.

Laazzzyyy!!

Wow..I haven't posted anything for almost a month! I don't know why but everytime I open my blog I feel so lazy to update it. So much for having a blog. Well, got to wait for inspiration to come =)

I know I'm supposed to upload my birthday pictures but erm, I haven't even gotten them from my dad yet >.< I'll get it and upload it...when I have the mood. ;)

Haven't been doing anything useful for the hols. Just the usual eat, sleep, watch tv, go online, shop abit here and there. Kit Yan and Clarice have been driving me around. Watching movies, eating dinner and crashing in each other's house. Hehehe thanks girls! >.<

I really wanted to go overseas for the holidays but so far the furthest I've been from home is Ipoh. I just came back from Ipoh actually. Putting on alot of weight! :( Sigh, I really need to start losing weight! Can't wait for next week though! Shen's coming back from UK! Yay! And we'll be going to genting with Kit Yan, Clarice and Joanna! Oh I can't wait!!

An amazing thing happened to me last week! I got 4 A's for A levels!! Praise God!! I really couldn't believe it. I got A for further maths! And Physics! LOL I actually kind of gave up on Physics. It's so hard! But thank God I got A for it! He IS awesome! I never thought I would get straight A's for A levels. And that means I'm going to LSE!! Yay! And if all goes well, I'll be sharing a room with Wei Tse! Double yay! Haha.

I'm actually having mixed feelings about LSE. I'm feeling excited, nervous, happy, scared, insecure...and alot more. I'm happy to go to LSE but I'm scared of living on my own (sort of). I'm excited to meet new people there but I'm scared I can't mix well. I'm excited to study in LSE! But I'm feeling insecure. I'm afraid I can't keep up and I'll drop out of uni! :S

But I'll always remember what Kit Yan said :

"God has brought you this far in life. He's given you straight A's for your A levels, allowing you to go to LSE. What makes you think He won't be with you then?" (something like that)

It's true. He has been helping me and guiding me through life. Never in my life would I thought of getting straight A's for SPM but He made it happen. Never in my life would I thought of getting straight A's for A levels but He made it happen. He made everything I thought was impossible possible. Even when I let Him down so many times He still helped me. I should really stop disappointing my Big Daddy.

So here I am! Going to LSE feeling scared and insecure, but I'll put my faith in Him! Even if I should fall flat on my face, I'll still put my faith in Him and just pray for His strength to pick me up. =D

This is what happens when I don't update my blog. I get long-winded. (*blush*). Lastly I just want to say all the best to Chong Wei! I really hope he can make it to the finals and get Malaysia the gold!

* I should really update my blog more often. Make it short and sweet =D*