I just suck in practical exams

I just finished my physics practical. It was bad. It wasn't tough but I practically screwed it up. Didn't have enough time and ended up doing my graph and calculation in a hurry, and alot of them are wrong. Sigh. Well, let me tell you what happened during the exam.

I was still calculating and filling up my table. I had about 10 more minutes to draw my graph and do some more calculations. I was practically freaking out. And somehow I couldn't find a suitable scale for the graph. I was praying, God, please help me. And I was panic-ing like mad. So in the end I didn't care and just put my reading into the graph without caring about the scale. I thought it was all wrong...the scale. But later when I was calculating the gradient I realised, that my scale is right. It's just awesome la. It's like, I couldn't find a proper scale and when I simply put on some stupid scale, it turned out right. Well, partly.

I was still panic-ing. And I realised that some of my calculations on the table was not right. At the same time I realised one point on my graph was not the right scale. So yea, basically it didn't work out lar. I screwed up the table, the graph, the gradient, etc etc. For a moment I was like, praising God for giving me the correct scale for the graph. But then, I realised that it's not correct. Maybe if I had kept my calm and calculated properly I might be able to get the correct scale and at the same time get marks for my table. But yea, I was pretty devastated when I found out I screwed up both my table and my graph.

I was pretty much in a wreck. I couldn't hold back my tears and started leaking. And I couldn't stop. I just couldn't believe that I screwed up such an easy paper. And I was basically blaming myself for being slow, for taking up too much time. For not keeping calm. I was just feeling so bad and I thought to myself," I think I'm going to have to retake next year."

I couldn't stop crying. I was feeling so sad. I felt like jumping off the building or something. But later, I pulled myself together and prayed, "God, I leave this paper into Your hands. I trust in You. Whatever happens I just want to thank You." And truly after that, I felt at peace. I stopped crying. It's just really great to feel that you know Someone is taking care of your worries, taking care of my paper.

And you know what, I can say this now. So what if I screwed up my paper? What's done is done and whatever I do cannot reverse whatever I have done. And I know this for sure : My God is and has taken care of my paper. And I'm not afraid anymore. Even if I get really low marks for my practical paper, I won't curse God. I won't be angry with Him. I just trust Him completely.

Have you heard the story about Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego? King Nebuchadnezzar made an image of gold and forced everyone in Babylon to worship this gold. If anyone does not worship this image of gold, they'll be thrown into a blazing furnace. So everyone fell down and worshipped this image of gold, but Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego did not. And when the king threatened to throw them into the furnace, this is what they said :

"O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." (Daniel 3: 16-18)

And guess what, they were thrown into the furnace. But God saved them and they came out of the furnace unhurt. And King Nebuchadnezzar was awed at God's work.

So yea, it's not called blind faith, it's called PURE faith in God.
Sometimes, it IS hard, to put your faith in Him, to say, "God I want this to happen but even if I don't get it I will still believe in You and have faith in You." But, honestly, why not take the risk of putting your faith in God? Just like what Meshach, Shadrach and Abednego did. They even considered the possibility that God will not save them from the furnace, but they still stayed true to Him. And look, they were saved!

It's hard to put your worries into God's hands, to trust Him 100%. But, after I commited my paper into God's hands, I truly felt at peace. Philippians 4:6-7 => Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Try taking that step of saying, "God I commit this problem/worry into Your hands." Truly the peace of God which surpasses all understanding WILL guard your hearts and minds.

I don't know what is going to happen. I don't know how bad this paper will influence my total marks. But I can say this, that whatever happens, God, I THANK YOU!

What is PASSION?

What is passion? Love for something? Is that all?

Well, I once loved something. And I still love it actually. By the age of 3 I was certain I was going to “marry” this “something”. I was so certain this “something” was my future. Something I want to do for a living. Something I loved. My passion.

For about 13 years my life revolved around this thing. It was not only a part of my life; it was a part of my family’s life. Especially my mom and dad.

Passion? I always thought I had passion for this thing. Why? Just because I love it? Well, love alone is not enough to explain what passion really means.

Want to know what passion really means? Let me tell you what I think. I think passion is something that you feel so strongly about, no words could explain this feeling you have for it. Passion is something so strong that nothing can ever take it away from you. Passion for something means you are ready to FIGHT for it. No matter how many obstacles come in your way, you are willing to go through them all, never giving up to reach for your passion.

Passion …is not what I have for this “thing”. Because I was not willing to fight for it. I was not willing to go through the tough times, the pressure, the stress, the discouragement…

Yes, I love this thing. No, I do not have the passion for it.

Many people were shocked when they found out I let it go. Some thought I was crazy. Do I regret letting it go? Honestly, I don’t know. Sometimes I felt I should have fought for it. Sometimes I felt I made the right choice, that this thing is not something meant for me.

Some said that it was a waste for me to let it go. Do I think so? Honestly, no. I did not totally shut this thing out of my life. It’s just that it’s a smaller part of my life now than it was before. I don’t feel like it‘s a waste for me to let it go, but I know a lot of people feel that it is. Including my parents. And I feel pretty guilty. Because this thing was a part of their life too. I’ve really let them down. And I’m sorry, I really am.

Do you have a passion for something? It may be a career; like being a doctor. Or it may be something you love to do. Like dancing, singing, drawing, or painting. Take some time to think about it. Is it really your passion? If you made up your mind that it is, here’s my advice.

Don’t let it go. Hold on to it. Fight for it. No matter what you go through. Don’t be afraid to show people your passion. Your everything. Don’t make the same mistake I did. If it is not your passion, don’t waste so much time on it. Don’t waste other people’s time on it.

Otherwise, hold on and fight for your passion.

This is when it all comes to an end...

Hmmm, ok. Maybe my title DOES sound abit dramatic. But anyway, I went to Ipoh on Sunday and then to Penang on Monday and on Tuesday, went back to Ipoh and then KL. *Phew*. Been travelling alot. And I think starting from tomorrow onwards I'm going to lock myself in my room to study. I've wasted more than 1 week of the holidays and I have to start studying. Finals is next month! *gasp*

Oh well, I just bought the DVD of High school musical 2! *Childish, I know* But somehow I don't know why I really like High school Musical. XD. Will update my blog later. Tatas!

What would YOU do?

I was reading "Dear Thelma" in the star newspaper and I came across this article where this guy was pressured by his mother and his aunt to get married and have kids. But there was one problem. He's gay. Yup. And he doesn't have the heart to tell his loved ones that he's gay. But at the same time, he feels pressured by his mom's desire for him to get married, and he wants to tell her the truth.

As I read through his dillema I could practically imagine how devastated his mother would be if she found out that he's gay. And I was wondering how my parents would react if I'm gay..or even my brother. So I decided to ask them.

1st I asked my mom, and after she heard the question she laughed. And then she stopped for a while and said, "Are you gay?"

LOL! I was laughing like mad. *Just to keep the record straight. I'm NOT gay!* LOL. So yeah, my mom said, she wouldn't know what to do. Then I asked my dad and he did the same are-you-gay reaction like my mom did. And when I asked him if he'll still accept me, he said yes.

I guess it's kind of hard. I don't think these people chose to be gay. And their parents will always wonder what they did wrong in raising up their children. Honestly, if it happened to my child I wouldn't know what to do.

What would YOU do? Would you try to change him/her or would you accept for who they are?

Freedom!!

*blow*..hmm, a lil' dusty. *Looks around*. Shen! I don't see any cobwebs here. Just a lil' bit of dust thats all. See? All clean now. XD


Sorry lar..I've been having trials. Today's the last day! Yay!! Freedom!! Now my to-do-list :

party
party
party
shopping
shopping
watch movies
shopping
watch more movies
shopping
shopping
chat
chat
chat
chat
watch movies
shopping
makan ;)

Haha, yea. Pretty much the same thing. Oh well, I've got 2 weeks holiday now. After that Finals *gasp*!

One week party one week study. LOL. Just kidding lar. I don't go party. No one host one for me. Or maybe no one invites me *gasp!*

Haha nah, I'm not that desperate to go parties. Anyway, other stuffs in my to-do-list include >>>> driving test. Ahhhhhh!!!!!!! Man, all my friends passed their driving test and now most of them are driving around already. And what about me? I failed! And now I've got to retake. Blah, I hate the driving test. I dread it. I don't even want to drive. Get me a driver to drive me around lar. LOL.

*Sigh* I've got to get over with it anyway. I just really hope I'll pass this time. I'M NOT GONNA BRIBE. At all! Not gonna give those people the satisfaction of getting my money!! LOL.


Anyways, guess what? I'VE GOT A LAPTOP! Weeeeeeeeeee!! It's Dell. 14 inch. I think. I'm using it now! Pretty cool. I'm gonna get a router in my house so I'll have wireless internet. XD. No more fighting with my bro over the internet then. Haha.

Oh well. Will update more later. Tataz!

"Trash"

I was reading Next Door Savior by Max Lucado. He's a great writer. Just want to quote a story from the book here:

(pg 44) The woman flops down on the bench and drops a trash bag between her feet. With elbows on knees and cheeks in hands, she stars at the sidewalk. Everything aches. Back. Leg. Neck. Her shoulder is stiff and her hands raw. All because of the sack.
.............
Her memories of life without the trash are fuzzy. As a child maybe? Her back was straighter, her walk quicker...or was it a dream? She doesn't know for sure.
............
She never looks at her trash. Early on she did. But what she saw repulsed her, so she's kept the sack closed ever since. What else can she do? Give it to someone? All have their own.
.............
Here comes an old man, face ravined with wrinkles. His trash sack is so long it hits the back of his legs as he walks. He glances at the woman and tries to smile.

What weight would he be carrying?she wonders as he passes. "Regrets." She turns to see who spoke. Beside her on the bench sits a man. Tall, with angular cheeks and bright, kind eyes. Like hers, his jeans are mud-stained. Unlike hers, his shoulders are straight. He wears a T-shirt and baseball cap. She looks around for his trash but doesn't see it. Strange. Everyone else is loaded down with trash. Why isn't he? What's his secret?

Forgetting her own troubles for a moment, the woman stares at the stranger beside her on the bench. "What do you mean, 'regrets'?" she asks him. He watches the old man trudge away with his bag as he explains, "As a young father, he worked many hours and neglected his family. His children don't love him. His sack is full-full of regrets."

She doesn't respond. And when she doesn't, he does. "And yours?"

"Mine?"she asks, looking at him...and carefully not looking at the bulging sack between her feet.

"Shame." His voice is gentle, compassionate. She still doesn't speak, but neither does she turn away. "Too many hours in the wrong places, with the wrong people. Last year. Last night...shame."

She stiffens, steeling herself against the scorn she has learned to expect. As if she needed more shame. Stop him. But now? She awaits his judgment. But it never comes. His voice is warm and his question honest : "Will you give me your trash?"

Her head draws back. What can he mean? "Give it to me. Tomorrow. At the landfill. Will you bring it?" He rubs a moist smudge from her cheek with his thumb and stands. "Friday. The landfill."
.............

It is Friday. For a time she stands, thinking. First wondering what he meant, then if he really meant it. She sighs. With hope just barely outweighing hopelessness, she turns toward the edge of town. Others are walking in the same direction.

..............

The landfill is tall with trash-papers and broken brooms and old beds and rusty cars. By the time they reach the hill, the line to the top is long. Hundreds walk ahead of them. All wait in silence, stunned by what they hear-a scream, a pain-pierced roar that hangs in the air for moments, interrupted only by a groan. Then the scream again.

His.

As they draw nearer, they know why. He kneels before each person who comes, gesturing toward the sack, offering a request, then a prayer. "May I have it? And may you never feel it again." Then he bows his head and lifts the sack, emptying its contents upon himself. The selfishness of the glutton, the bitterness of the angry, the possessiveness of the insecure. He feels what they felt. It is as if he'd lied or cheated or cursed his Maker.

Upon her turn, the woman pauses. Hesitates. His eyes compel her to step forward. He reaches for her trash and takes it from her. "You can't live with this," he explains. "You weren't made to." With head down, he empties her shame upon his shoulders. Then looking toward the heavens with tear-flooded eyes, he screams, "I'm sorry!"

"But you did nothing!" she cries. Still, he sobs as she sobbed into her pillow a hundred nights. That's when she realizes that his cry is hers. Her shame his. With her thumb she touches his cheek, and for the first step in a long nighttime, she has no trash to carry.

With the others the woman stands at the base of the hill and watches as the selfless stranger is burried under a mound of misery. For some time he moans. Then nothing. Just silence.
..................
They almost miss the moment. It is the young girl who sees it. The girl with the rage. She doesn't trust her eyes at first, but when looks again, she knows.

Her words are soft, intended for no one. "He's standing." Then aloud, for her friend, "He's standing." And louder for all, "He's standing!"
She turns;all turn. They see him silhouetted against a golden sun. Standing. Indeed.

This story brought me goosebumps. It just reflects Jesus and all He has done for us. At the cross, Jesus paid the price for our sins. He took on the sins of the world on His shoulder and died. But the most wonderful thing that could happen was when that in the end, He was "standing." Jesus died but He also rose from the dead. And that's just really awesome.

The best part was this : As if she needed more shame. Stop him. But now? She awaits his judgement. But it never comes. God knows every sin we've commited, every bad thing we did, every weakness in us. But the best part is. He doesn't judge us. He accepts us for who we are and for what we have done.

And this "trash" doesn't necessary mean sin. It could simply be something that keeps us away from God or our loved ones or a burden that slows us down. Like a sinful habit we don't want to give up, or a fantasy we cling on to, or a revenge we still hold on to.

Basically, God is asking for your "trash". He wants it. He wants to get rid of it, to set us free from burdens. But in the end, it's just up to us. Are we willing to give Him our "trash"? Take out your "trash" today, and let's count on Him to get rid of it.

*Oh and btw, all the ".............. " means that there're more sentences. Had to cut the story short or else no one will read this post. *

My Birthday 2007

Hey peeps! It's time I blog about my birthday =) 1st, celebrated my birthday with my family, cousins, aunt and my 2 lovely nieces (Sherilyn and Alycia) on 14/7 (Saturday). Nothing special, just went out for dinner, bought a cake and celebrated in my aunt's apartment. Really made the two little girls happy(especially Sherilyn).

Here we are buying the cake from Secret Recipe. Look at Sherilyn. She looks so excited.

There's my cake. Chocolate. Yum =)

There's me and my cake. Peace!

"We are family..." There's my cousin with his wife and his 2 lovely babies, my mom, dad, aunt and cousin from Taiwan. One person missing though. My brother. I think he had something to do at home or something. Can't remember >.<

Sherilyn was so excited to cut the cake that we decided to cut it...together. Look how excited she is.

After all the excitement, here's Sherilyn eating the cake. She really enjoyed it. When she was eating, we talked to her and all she said was ,"Mmm...Mmm..." Haha. Too busy eating till she didn't even bother answering us. Haha. Cute lar she.

As my birthday was on a week day (Wednesday), I was torn between going to watch transformers (which I watched yesterday btw. It was so cool!), having a nice dinner in a nice restaurant and going to MPO. In the end, I decided to go to Hilton Hotel next to KL Central to eat Japanese food. The food was soo good.

Bon Apetite! Here I am with my food =) I know it's alot. But hey, it's my birthday! Let me enjoy my food and grow fat for just one day! Haha. Let me introduce to you, Una Jyu (aka eel with rice), California roll and Ebi Tempura (aka prawn tempura). The Ebi Tempura was sooooo good. Seriously. Recommended. And I expected the eel to be really small, but there were like 4 long strips of eel.


There's the eel with the rice. Was eating half of the 1st eel when I realised I forgotten to take a picture of the Una Jyu. Oops. XD

My aunt and me.

Tada! The birthday cake. Also from Secret Recipe. Haha, I was sitting talking to my family when suddenly I heard this group of people singing "Happy Birthday". And the 1st thought that came to my mind was, "Ooo, someone here is also celebrating his/her birthday." Actually, it was the waiters and waitresses singing Happy Birthday to me as they brought the cake. Haha. Shocked me for a while.

There. Nothing better than celebrating my birthday with my family =) Really had fun and enjoyed my dinner. I think I practically put on 5kg the next day (LOL, just kidding). But oh well, it was worth it ;) Thanks mom and dad!